The dilemma My daughter looks very masculine and not in a good way. In childhood she was badly bullied. In her 20s she moved to different countries, underwent therapy and overcame her social anxiety. She is a changed person, but still spends most evenings alone on the phone with me.

She’s had many relationship attempts with men, but I gather they have all failed due to lack of interest on their part. In the past I encouraged her to undergo plastic surgery to pin her ears and she was very pleased with the result.

When she was 18 I paid for a rhinoplasty, but this surgery went horribly wrong. I want to encourage her to undergo another rhinoplasty, but worry that if I keep on talking about it, it will hurt her confidence.